HR Gone Wild!

No, this is not an adventure where you see a bunch of 17 (oops, I mean 18!)year old chicks from various HR departments lift their shirts and show you how they got hired. This is a super fun continuation of my misadventures in unemployment.

So, to collect the unemployment benefit, you must solemnly swear on your honor and your mother's grave, to be diligently looking for work. Therefore, along with being a part of Michigan Works!, I have subscribed to career builder like a good little unemployed worker bee.

As a card-carrying member of the displaced workforce, I have dutifully signed up with Career Builder to use it at its full capacity. I gave them my resume, I told them what kind of work I was looking for, I created searches, and signed up for an automated search, which they will send me the results on a weekly basis.

To my starry-eyed surprise, I discovered an extra benefit to this whole process: Employers will actually seek YOU out on career builder, too! How awesome is that--you don't have to search around for hours, you can just let the employers find you in their pool of ideal candidates.

And so yesterday, I got yet another email of the several I get daily from employers pining at me for my incredible experience. This one is from American Income Life Insurance. The email is titled "Please call me to schedule an interview." I thought nothing of this, as it looks similar to the ones I have gotten in the past. However, after opening it, I discovered that the genius who wrote the email addressed it to "Dear Job Seeker." Really?! 'Dear job seeker?!'

Ok, I have several problems with this. First of all, you really can't take the time to put my name in a mass general email, or at least something that masks the fact that you have no idea who I am, and just bought my email address from Career Builder? How about "Good afternoon" or "Hello", or something more generic than "Dear job seeker?!"

Second, shame on you to career builder for praising yourself for your thoroughness in screening employers, and scams. I literally get about 4 or 5 of these a day, all from Career Builder. My resume will be coming down from there, and they will be receiving a copy of my blog. The irony in this, of course, is that if they read it, I get paid because again, the more people who read my devilish words, the more money I get *mmmmmwuahahahahhh*

Third, who falls for these kind of pyramid schemes anymore? And further, I don't know if I want to punch companies such as American Life (not American Mutual Funds), Liberty National (not liberty Mutual), United Health Insurance (not United Health Care--you see a pattern?) for being so shady, or commend them on a job well done, because I bet there are loads of people who fall for that.

Shame on them however, for preying on a weakened and down-trodden work force. And shame on Career Builder for not living up to their own self-imposed standards. If you are gong to try to help people and provide s service, then ante up, bitches!

I'm juuuust sayin'