blog this.

At the most kind and gentle requests from a handful of friends who find my writing at least some what amusing or interesting, I have decided to take a gander in the ole blog once again. It has been too long since my last post. I feel better when I blog. It allows me to get things off my chest and calms my ever-increasing eye twitch. I vow to make a better effort at blogging more often. And let's face it, I just like to talk about myself, so why the hell shouldn't I blog more often?

Annnnyway, today is a watershed date in l'histoire de Larissa. I finally settled a case I have been working on for over a year. I daresay that 'working on' is far too light of a term for this situation. I worked my fingers to the bone on this case. I fought the good fight, spent countless hours on this case. I have put more time, energy, effort and xanax into this case than any other (I jest about the xanax--I've never actually tried it. Though I hear it's delightful).

I have been envisioning the day my client would sign the final judgment for months now. I could just see her clicking the blue, medium point pen, slowly putting the pen to paper, and signing the paper that would change her life forever. I could envision the sweat gather on her upper lip as she wrung (wringed? wrings?) her hands together in anticipation of what was to come. I could see her breath quicken in anticipation of me taking the copy from her to file with the court. In my head, this all happens with great heaviness, as you would expect in a nice dramatic, funny 80's coming of age story about two teenagers finding their way in the world, with a great soundtrack, likely produced or directed by John Hughes.

But that's not how it happened. I fought until the very end, like I always have in this case. I thought for sure she wouldn't sign it. The signing was anti climatic, and over in all of about 5 seconds. Confident she wouldn't complete the end task we set forth together to do over a year ago, it was in fact I, who reacted the most. I gripped the arms of the chair, leaned forward and felt my pulse quicken. I could almost feel my pupils dial ate as I licked my lips and leaned forward like a cheetah about to pounce on its prey. I was so overt in my actions, my client stopped before signing and asked me if I was supposed to witness her signature or something.

After it was all said and done, I thought I would feel some relief, some reprieve some...well, something! But there was nothing. I mean, this is a case which has caused my insides to twist and turn and tangle, and I get nothing??? If you add up all the time I spent on this case, and divide it by what I charged her (read: charged, not what she has paid me, because that's even more disturbing than a torture porn flick), it comes out to less than $10/hour. All I could think of is the best way to copy everything, and at about what time I could get out of the office to file the damned thing. There was no satisfaction. No sense of accomplishment. But there was no let down either. Just...nothing. Maybe I'm just too spent on this thing to give a shit anymore.

What i can take away from this, however, is the fact that I learned more from this case than probably any other. It is the difficult ones that burn you, from which you learn the most.

Welp, that blog went in a completely different direction from which I had anticipated, but you can't always predict where life will take you. I have a lot of ground to cover. lots going on.