Hello lovelies! I know it has been a while and you have been hanging by a thread, waiting, pining, suffocating without my next words to quench your eyes. Rest assured, I am back! It is now more important than ever that I practice writing, since that it is my source of income (albeit in the form of legal drafting, but what ever). So time to get that tongue wagging and fingers- clacking. I wonder if i could get paid more for tongue-wagging...
Today's topic is Highschool reunions. I recently had my 15th reunion. First, I must give mad props to the ladies who put this reunion together--their hard work and effort did not go unnoticed. Great job, amigos! I learned a lot at this high school reunion that I want to share with all of you:
1. Have you ever seen Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion? Yes, it is just like that! If you can't get to your reunion, just watch the movie--you won't miss anything.
2. I'm all for catching up with people and everything, but if you were a heinous bitch in high school, don't expect me to be your bff and want to catch up now. I didn't like you then because you were a mean douche bag. If that is all I know of you, don't expect me to ooze love and sugar all over you. You may be the nicest person in the world now, but you have a lot of work to do to show me you no longer suck-eth. That doesn't mean I am not willing to talk to you; we just need to get to know where each other is coming from. I don't know if a reunion is a good venue for that. So at best, I may just be indifferent about you when it is all said and done.
3. I think everyone should have donated a dollar for asking any of the following questions: "Are you married?" "Do you have any children?" "What do you do?" "Where are you living these days?" Comments and responses that also could generate income include "Wow, you look great." "Wow, good for you!" "You haven't changed at all." or "Well it was nice to see you." I am sure the reunion could have paid for itself with the donations from everyone saying any combination of these phrases.
4. Hey guess what, we all got older/fatter/wrinklier, etc. etc. Why everyone (yes, myself included) feels the need to spend a week at the spa getting primed to show off how great you look, is beyond me. Maybe everyone is programmed at birth with the inherent need to one-up their high school classmates...
5. It is funny to me that some people try to be cliquey and make fun of or exclude others even now, 15 years later. Guess what, bitches? You got old and fat too! You are not any better than the people you make fun of. In fact, it is likely that you are worse. Moreover, point number 2 in this blog probably applies to you as well.
Look, I don't care what people do with their lives. Maybe you are a millionaire and sell apps to Apple. Or maybe you have worked in a factory since high school. Or maybe you are a stay at home mom with 5 kids and a truck driver for a husband. All that matters is that you are happy with you life, you mean what you say, you do what you say you are going to do, and treat people the way you would want to be treated (unless they step on your toes, then give them hell).
I put class reunions in the same category as weddings and funerals. They make people act so strangely, that I have to sit back and laugh and poke at least a little fun. I'm juuuuust sayin'.
